Step 2: Upperclassmen convene, don Branford apparel and face paint, and storm Old Campus screaming BFA, BFA, BFA! And other chants that are significantly more profane.
Step 3: Pound on the freshmen's doors and tell them to get outside NOW. Blindfold them and lead them in a long chain across High Street, around the Branford Courtyard and into the Chapel at the base of Branford Tower.
Step 4: Freshmen remove their blindfolds and are initiated into Branford with a speech from an upperclassmen with a booming voice who stands on the balcony of the chapel and proclaims the eternal glory of Branford, the envy of all other residential colleges. The speech makes many historical allusions to great Branford alums-- such as Pericles, Ezekiel, Winston Churchill and William Shakespeare, of course. These heros fought valiantly against those barbaric "inmates" of Jonathan Edwards College, you see. Oh yes, we pledge allegiance, to the Squirrel... :) P.S. Did we mention JE sucks?
No comments:
Post a Comment